HOLDING THE VISION: THE ART OF LETTING GO TO LET GREAT S**T IN.
I was contemplating recently as I watched my mom packing for a big dream trip, she manifested the shit out of, I might add. A couple of years ago my mom had a long bout in the hospital that was pretty scary. Then a second scare a year ago. In that process, we adopted a new life mantra….Fucking Yolo. We all use it now in my family because when you are faced with the preciousness of life, things start to hit differently and the lens certainly changes. Let’s face it, we all faced a version of knowing the preciousness of life in the past couple of years. We are prompted in these moments to start to make more space for the dreams and desires that really align to come in and shine. For some it’s moving more into the flow and being present. For my mom, she held that vision for 3 years.
Whatever it is, FY is a good catalyst.
To let go and be Yolo, we need a couple of key things. To be able to move and flow with life and the seasons and the earths’ rhythms and to be able to recognize what needs to stay and go.
That being said, letting go is hard sometimes.
When you’re in the eye of the storm we have to trust so deeply that we are doing it for all the good reasons in our hearts. We have to expand our capacity to change and continually soften the responses of our protective internal nervous systems while doing so. We need to have clear sight on what turns us on to outweigh what feels less aligned.
I love this practice so much it was one of my first tattoos.
The Yogis talk about Aparigraha or the practice of non-attachment. It’s essentially your capacity to create freedom by mindfully loosening the grip on the things we think we need. It gives us space to be more present and inward focused. That result allows us to see those heart connections. I say living in your Dharma is freedom but you have to detach from a lot of old stories and conventional thoughts to get there.
It took me years of healing and evolutions to land in a place of deep knowing.
Managing the fluctuations of life is largely tended to when we lean into letting go and non-attachment. From seasons changing to shedding old habits, to releasing relationships and leaning into growth, it’s all the same process. Even the macro changes that we see day to day in the world and letting go of old paradigms is significant.
So what are the opportunities then on this path that seems to be in the face of loss?
To learn to tend to your nervous system and increase the capacity for expansion in presence and experience and tending to yourself.
To lay the groundwork for purpose and what’s in your heart.
To learn how to live cyclically and the benefits and strength of each season and how they are spiralic, like life.
To embrace the cycles of death and rebirth like in the fall.
To embrace the balancing that happens in nature and in life.
To know that when change arises, there is an opportunity and a portal that opens and when you are clear about your needs and what’s in your heart, it’s much easier to create it.
To learn to trust more in the divine timing of things.
To be agile and shift when needed to not get too stuck in places or to recognize new opportunity and take a fools leap (I think of the Tarot card).
I also think of the Tarot Card The Wheel of Fortune. They say there is no bad turn on the wheel, there is luck attached to each one, it’s up to you to decide whether you are going to take the turn on the part closest to the middle or the outside that has you holding on for dear life.
We will always experience both but we get to expand our capacity for more ease and less overwhelm in the process at each turn.
Letting go is part of the natural cycles we see all around us. It is spiralic in nature which means we will meet the path over and over again.
“The root of suffering is attachment” ”
— Buddha
What you don’t let go of sometimes we can see as taking up the space for desires to come in.
When it comes up, think of it as an opportunity to bloom versus a loss.
Some final thoughts to consider and the how.
1) Make space for the grief that comes with it. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling attachment, it’s important to process and cry and do all the things that is needed to let your body feel more like that clean closet.
2) There is no timeline. This is a non-linear practice. You don’t have to have a deadline for /seed planting/intention setting/letting go/trusting the universe, they work in tandem and are spiralic. Your job is to trust and focus on your north star prize and tend to your body/mind/soul/heart. That is all.
3) Make intuition and discernment an important part of your practice and build your inner voice and knowing. It’s a forever process but will help you move through because you’ll better know and understand your why and where you want to go in an embodied way. Like a tree firmly rooted. That subtle awareness has a profound effect on how you show up to what serves you and doesn’t.
4) Don’t forget to enjoy moments, create pleasure and presence and celebrate wins. Know the magic happens in the in between moments when you aren’t actively doing the work.
5) Have a good community and support around you to cheerlead those changes.
6) Use the tools like meditation, breathing/breathwork, somatics and energy work to better support you as you move through these moments.
7) Don’t forget what brings you pleasure in life.
8) The practive of gratitude can help shift the lens from scarcity and loss to abundance a long the way.
So to recap.
Know your why and keep it as your compass.
Look to the seasons as your guide.
Discerment and intuition and trusting in the divine is your friend.
Letting go may seem hard but it’s the road paved with gold to what your heart desires.
Sxo.
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