Is it a Phoenix or Butterfly?
Confession, the past two weeks I have been on a stress related time off. I had to hit a hard reset after hitting a wall and my nervous system needed some serious tending to. I do have challenges with my mental health sometimes and my entire body shut down. Learning to accept this more and more. Dorsal Vagal trauma realness.
Yes, the challenges of the world coupled with home grown ones took a toll on me, but I had no more reserves and no more resilience to prop me up. I crashed, big time.
We can view these kind of force reset times or the ones of big catalysts and change as happening to us or for us. We can see them through the lens of growth or they can shrink us.
In the fall season, we directly witness the seasons change before us and how it’s done with such grace. So how do we learn to do the same?
There’s a great opportunity in the face of big change to remember what actually drives our soul and desires in life vs being overwhelmed by the change itself. We are hard wired for safety after all so how do we soften the edges on those anxious mechanisms?
I said to my friend in the first couple of days off that maybe this is a butterfly Chrysalis moment and he differed by referring to the grand Phoenix rising. He was like butterflies rise out of goop and lives a short life and Phoenix ashes. Whichever you relate to, change once you have stepped through the fiery hoop the result can be amazing but getting there can hurt.
Also, how do we continually build a more resilient path for change and growth in the future? So we can take those YOLO leaps? Whether it be time off of life or a business?
I often look at the times I started a new training or what I tell people when they come to mine. The days and weeks leading up to it often already had big shifts happening. If you can observe yourself in a keen awareness induced way in these lead ups, you would see it too. Next time you even go to a networking event or head on a trip of a lifetime, start to observe the weaving together of the shifts. Notice that in those instances there is excitement at the prospect mixed with jitters. So how do we cultivate that change muscle into Phoenix/Butterfly excitement all the time? Change and shifts don’t happen in a vacuum so the powers that be - aka the cells in our body - start to work in the direction of your orientation.
So how do we garner trust, feel grounded and rooted in all this shifting? Change doesn’t have to look like a big crash like mine, I sometimes get a kick in the ass wake up as my homework, 10/10 do not recommend.
Here are some suggestions that hold true for me and have helped me many many times. I love that I never stop humbly learning.
Nourish/Fill Your Cup - this is a never ending journey and it changes and evolves but I will say to learn how to really integrate the moments of care. This is hard sometimes, learning to receive and integrate care sometimes is a practice in itself. I would suggest looking at what the energy givers and takers are in your life. Know your nervous system agitators and nourishers too, understand your body.
Learn and learn - lean into teachings, podcasts, articles and posts that are created by expanders and leaders.
Have safety mechanisms in place - whether they be financial, therapeutic, spiritual and family support - think of all the things you need to feel secure and create them if you don’t already. Change fucks with our Root Chakra so these are the antidotes to feeling off are the stabilizers.
Self acceptance, not being afraid to be “in it” and process grief or big feelings. Taking that space is important, even if it feels messy. The magic really lives in these moments.
Identify your doubts, safety patterns and imposters. For instance, observing where your sense of worth keeps us small or our voice is lost our of fear of judgement, these old patterns show up in the face of change to keep us safe and the same.
Anchor into your intentions/why/drivers and notice when they have worked for you in the past and remember those moments. I read this recently and it created a great epiphany.
Start the day with a grateful heart and touch the sacred before the socials where possible. It helps to build inner trust and tells the universe (and your neural pathways) you are prioritizing yourself first.
Do one thing a day that scares you and/or moves energy. Think of that yoga pose that teaches you to breathe while holding it in that bit of discomfort, that’s an excellent on the mat off the mat lesson.
Journal to release excess overwhelm and thoughts and to help process.
Fall is our greatest teacher right now. We watch nature release the abundance and go to sleep with such beauty in the face of chaotic windy anxiety inducing energy.
When I listen, when I go to nature, it shows me that it’s so clear about its role in the world and how it functions, it knows how to receive and release to thrive - water in and leaves out on a tree for instance - even in the face of the harsh elements. Anchored in that knowing.
We all go through these cycles of change, so really if we can change our relationship to it so we can really thrive it each turn of the cycle of life and the spirals.
Sheri xo
P.S. I have an amazing seasonal experience coming out soon called Soul Magic - it’s a journey through the spirals and the seasons of life to garner all the tools needed to feel good and thrive. You deserve it.